11 Comments

Yes, my father wasn't the perfect father, but yes, he was incredibly better than his father. My father loved and respected his adoptive father, but in reality, "step-dad' was abusive in many ways. My dad was taught that work is first, and he learned that well. But he tried to be a different dad, and at that he succeeded. He didn't know how to communicate intimacy with us. But we knew how much he loved us.

I was purposefully dedicated to being a better dad, and I know I didn't learn the art of intimate communication, but please know how much I desire it with you.

The ceremony is and always will be top of my treasured memories. I am so proud of you! I love you!

Expand full comment

I have such wonderful memories of grandpa. None of us are perfect, that’s why we are beautiful. Thanks for sharing dad. I am grateful.

Expand full comment

Beautiful. I feel this so deeply. I still carry so much pain and resentment toward my parents, and even saying I love you feels heavy, awkward. And yet, the love I feel—the enormity of it, shaped by impermanence and an unbreakable bond that reaches beyond time and space—cuts through it all. How deeply I love them, and how impossible it feels to say. Your words remind me to keep trying.

Expand full comment

Increasingly, I feel the friction many carry in these times between themselves and their parents in truth has little to do with their parents but more to do with modernity as a whole. We look at our situation and feel as if we have been shorthanded and we blame our parents. But it's much bigger, the wound far deeper. May we be courageous and loving enough to listen. Thankyou for being here Vanja. All blessings on you and your parents...

Expand full comment

This is a beautiful article. I'm really glad I took the time to read it this evening. Thank you.

Expand full comment

Thank you Adam. Happy New Year!

Expand full comment

You too. Let us all work for it to be a more peaceful and enlightened one. I’m going to work hard for my secondary school students this year! ^^

Expand full comment

So beautiful and a lot of truth to ponder

Expand full comment

Thank you Jan. I appreciate you:)

Expand full comment

Thanks for sharing this beautiful ceremony, Gregory!

Expand full comment

Thank you for sharing this. What you wrote was so beautiful and so gentle, allowing us to look inside and see a place within that we’ve forgotten. This incessant wounding of one another, the incessant wounding of Mother Earth is exhausting. I’m so glad you are learning a different way to be and so glad your father is too. ❤️

Expand full comment