Falling short
Women deserve better than this.
If you could kindly tap the ❤️ at the top or bottom of this newsletter it will make it easier for other people to find this publication. Ahéhee'! བཀའ་དྲིན་ཆེ།! 謝謝! Thank you! ขอบคุณ! شكرا ! תודה! Спасибо! धन्यवाद! Cảm ơn bạn! អរគុណ! Merci y Muchisimas gracias!!
A woman I have great respect for
called me the other day.
She told me I am an example of how to be a good man.
I shudder.
The bar has been considerably lowered in recent years.
I dare say I don’t feel like I am doing very well at all.
I remember watching Michael Landon as a child.
Little House on the Prairie.
How available he was to his wife and children.
How able he was to do, well, everything!
I know we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others
much less people we see on t.v.
but I can barely cook a meal.
I have about as much patience for kids games
as I do for listening to christians talk about how much they love trump.
I can’t change a tire.
I can’t help with the plumbing.
I can’t use any power tools.
I’m terrible with money.
I can’t wrangle horses
or shoot with a bow.
I’m a post modern man!
I know how to think!
…kind of.
I know how to buy things
and hire other people to fix things that break.
Maybe it’s the fact that I’m aware
of how mans ability to show up well has atrophied
that impressed my well-wishing friend.
But inside I feel insecure, unsure and ashamed.
It’d be nice to have a bit more solid guidance
or even a few more to share this ancient art with
but fewer and fewer of my peers are having children.
Fewer and fewer are “settling down”.
I get it.
I do.
Elon Musk thinks it’s good to have kids!
People seem to like him.
.
.
.
Fu*k.
.
Maybe all it takes to be a good man nowadays,
is to notice things are amiss.
That men are falling short.
That we shouldn’t be leading anymore.
It’s time to pass the mic.
Am I being too hard on myself?
On my half of the tribe?
I look around and see what men now pass as “leaders”.
I hope I am better than that.
I know am better than that.
Women deserve better than this.
Better than me.
But thank you friend,
you are very kind,
And I will do better.
If you could kindly tap the ❤️ at the top or bottom of this newsletter it will make it easier for other people to find this publication. Ahéhee'! བཀའ་དྲིན་ཆེ།! 謝謝! Thank you! ขอบคุณ! شكرا ! תודה! Спасибо! धन्यवाद! Cảm ơn bạn! អរគុណ! Merci y Muchisimas gracias!
#maypeaceprevailonearth
I think you're doing fine, based on what little I know about you from your blog here. You had the sense to get out of the toxic system called the U.S. You value the teachings of nature and the people and elders who've spent their lives in deep connection to it. You have a sense that community is valuable and are seeking to find ways to create and develop it, as shaky as that can get at times. I can count on one hand the number of guys I know in the U.S. who are actually working towards something like this, or who would even understand its value. Most are yes-men to the established order and never ever ask any difficult questions because they are too afraid to step outside of that order, even while adopting a tough shell while considering themselves hardcore in some way to offset their deep insecurities. Quite frankly it takes some real bravery to do what you've done, what you are doing, and just because there's no one to reflect that back to you doesn't make it any less of a reality.
*Tranquilo*, as they say here in the southern continent of the Americas. Loosely translated.... *don't worry, it's fine.*
Thankful for your query here because it reminded me of a poem I came across many years ago. (Full text at https://fs.blog/how-to-be-a-man-rudyard-kipling/)
A few of my favorite lines here that point the way
"If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with wornout tools..."
The system has left very little room for men to be men. It has been whittled away for decades, centuries, just as its drive for humanity to stop being human is one of its goals. I'd be interested in furthering the conversation on this. Maybe this is about as much as I know, for tonight anyways. If I come to Vietnam next year, maybe we'll get the chance to meet in person.
Keep going.
Cheers
- Juantastico
Hu-man you and we are. What a wonder to bow to our limits. Thank you- Seems all of us need some right-sizing and to get over the idea of being good and good at everything.