At some point, we're going to have to swallow our pride and BE HAPPY:)
...Lest we live in a perpetual state of post-modern dread forever.
In regions of the world more rooted in Place, the “New Year” aligns with that time of year when rains are supposed to again fall, thus meaning life can once more begin its grand cycle. Here in Thailand, we call this sacred turning, “Songkran”. Songkran is a Khmer word that traces its origins to the Sanskrit word saṃkrānti, which, when translated means “astrological passage", referring to a major phase of transition. It coincides with the rising of Aries on the astrological chart. It is an exciting holiday, filled with time spent with family, the playing of games, ceremony, lots of music, food, and over the top water fights!
Of the many activities that occur during Songkran, I have particularly been touched by the storytelling, the ceremonies honoring elders and the Sangha (i.e. the noble community of buddhist monastics), and the simple joys that always arise during this time. For someone like me, who comes from the United States, where we don’t really have a recognizable shared spirituality, don’t have a culture steeped in ancient myths still woven into lived traditions that emanate from celestial cycles which serve as bedrocks for rituals that honor Land and elders (In Thailand they literally wash the hands and feet of parents, grandparents and monks with essential oils and fresh orchids, etc.) it is a profound thing to witness such depth of relation with origins. And it makes me wonder, what if all holidays were more than mere opportunities to party and buy things?
To be fair, Songkran certainly has its fair share of debauchery and the kingdom has absolutely cashed in on selling the holiday as a way to increase tourism dollars, yet the reverence underlying the The New Year is palpable and it has awaken something deep in me, causing me to long for something I’m sure my own lineage once knew. It is good to come in contact with reverence. We are designed to do this. All living beings are. Just rise a bit before for dawn and listen to how birds greet the Sun. They are paying respects to That Which Gives Life. Such acts allow us to reconnect. Such ritual offers meaning and makes us happy. At Songkran, we re-member, and begin anew.
I had a great chat with an old man the other day outside a teahouse in Bangkok. So much music and joy was buzzing around us, young and old people of many nationalities mingling together, laughing, eating simple handmade snacks, playing freely with total strangers. The old man gave me some mango and sticky rice and thick black coffee. I shared with him how much I am grateful to the people of Thailand for their constant willingness to accept foreigners like me into their world. I told him how much I have learned since moving here about courtesy, kindness, respect for elders and for rooting oneself in wise, spiritual ethics. I must confess I teared up a bit when I shared with him how I have struggled with depression for much of my life and how many of my friends back in The States live with constant anxiousness and dread, always worrying about something, never seemingly able to sit still, to just be, and be content. He responded by telling me that we don’t have much time here on earth together, that Thailand is not without its own struggles. Best to enjoy our time here…
“Everywhere in the world has its challenges”, he said. “But we all have the ability to train ourselves to react skillfully to whatever arises. Life is short nong.” He paused briefly, taking a sip of coffee and then laughed sneakily before mumbling, “We can’t wait for some great leader to make us happy.” making a sly reference to a forbidden topic in the kingdom. “Our joy is our responsibility. And we can share it!”
Just then some young exuberant kids poured a bucket of ice cold water over our heads and I was pulled swiftly by a random lady into the celebratory mayhem surrounding us. And we danced to the sounds of Issan Molam. The festivities continuing long into the night.
I have been sitting with what the old man told me the past couple of days. As a father and an aspiring elder, I am woefully aware that my culture is not well prepared for leading us into whatever is heading our way as empire falls. Separated for so long from real culture and deep relation to Place, those of us well-steeped in modernity seem to have grown comfortable living in a state of perpetual bitterness, sarcasm and despair. We argue about everything. Even Christmas! (or is it X-mas??) We have all but lost our ability to think mythically anymore, obsessed as we are with science and with few opportunities to honestly root ourselves into a Place, thus allowing ancient abilities to atrophy, we are clearly suffering now from the greatest widespread pandemic of narcism, loneliness, resulting depression and overall lack of vision that has likely ever been known. Real maturity thus, to put it mildly, is hard to find.
And yet, all humans, no matter where we hail from, nor how forgetful or grumpy we have become are still capable of training our minds. When conditions are right, miracles do sprout. We can again develop the skills needed to be happy. And we don’t need to rely on our outward circumstances to do this. Of course it helps, but it isn’t necessary.
As I age I am growing less concerned with trying to “fight the power” and more curious about how I can transform my own harmful habits. It seems very unlikely that any elected official is going to enact any laws that generate peace much less any that align with Natural Law, i.e. the laws of clouds, of Chaos and Chance, the forgotten code of Songkran, of the unchanging constant that underlies emptiness, the mysterious cycles beyond what we can and cannot see. I.E. Dhamma. Such thinking is bad for business. But it makes us human.
…And it makes us happy.
We need to be better at being happy. We can’t keep blaming our parents for not raising us better, or our ancestors for destroying the world. What’s done is done. Which is not to say we should not level up how history is told. All truths must be sung. Yet “justice” as we generally understand it to be seems to be itself aiding in why we can’t ever seem to truly be happy. What about forgiveness? What about deep listening? What about growing up and not being lazy anymore?
My teacher, Martin Prechtel often says not to be lazy about being happy. Depression nowadays seems to be some kind of fashion statement, an ornament we wear, and excuse to not do the hard work required of us in order to become a good ancestor. As I have come to learn in Thailand, where most people work seriously hard labor every day, from dawn till dusk for about $30USD per day only to go home to a tiny concrete home and eat a small meal of rice and chicken, that outward circumstances do not determine our happiness. I have yet to meet anyone in Thailand who is seriously depressed. Oh, people definitely get sad. And as modernity creeps its cancer-like head into the Kingdom I am certainly hearing more and more about depression taking its toll on people here for sure, especially in urban areas, but I haven’t encountered it personally, not like back in the West where everyone I know seems to be battling serious grief. What gives? Why are we in the west so friggin’ sad?
There is a lot to say about this. And as one who has dealt with depression most of his life, I know how real this sickness is. Yet, there are these clear moments, like the one I had with that grandfather on the curb the other day in Bangkok before getting hosed down by joyful children, when I know down deep that much of my sadness is because of a peculiar form of laziness.
This uninspiring zeitgeist of perpetual dread isn’t just going to go away. As was to be expected, now there is a multi-billion dollar industry taking full advantage of societies tragic state of affairs. Like the old man said, no one is going to save us. We can’t blame immigrants or our president or corporations for our emotional state. Sure, it would be fantastic if Oprah was president and all nuclear weapons magically disappeared. Yes, talking regularly to people who listen well helps. And I won’t deny that certain drugs have their place too. But our ability to react wisely to what arises is, in the end, up to us. Contrary to the capitalist narrative that forever wants us to believe it’s always someone else’s fault, that we can buy some new experience or therapy that will fix us, if we just get rid of the immigrants or make sure people spell Christmas right again…
Ultimately, happiness, is up to us.
Thailand is often referred to as the Land of Smiles. After ten years living here, I am starting to see why this is. It isn’t because life here isn’t hard. It is because the Stories, the View, the Dhamma that serves as the raft which the people here navigate upon offers a Way to take responsibility for ones own inner reality. As such, people here don’t just up and sue someone because they spilled coffee on them accidentally. People are responsible, forgiving and kind. A lovely cocktail. Happiness, it turns out, is a direct result of how we personally choose to react to life’s inevitable challenges.
I wish to enter into this new year with joy. And to be disciplined with cultivating a strong capacity for kindness, just as one might work to develop any other skill. I owe it to my daughter, to my friends, to my family, my ancestors and the generations yet to come. It’s not easy to let things go. I’m mad at Exxon. I’m mad at Monsanto and Trump and Biden and Cortez and Rome. But eventually, if we are ever going to evolve away from this violent era of “getting even” we will have to swallow our pride and just be happy. Luckily, there is a lot to be happy about. Just breathe, This is more than enough reason for joy. What a gift. What an unlikely gift.
It’s hard to say what lies ahead for us as politicians grow ever more cruel, as humans grow further from Natural Law, thus inevitably coming to suffer the appropriate consequences of such foolishness. Hard tellin’ where this is all heading. I am uncertain if I will ever make enough money from writing (certainly not from teaching and farming! Ha!) to properly support my family. I am unsure how I will explain to my daughter why the waterways around us are so polluted, why she has to wear a mask all the time because the air is so dirty, why her government doesn’t treat her as fairly as men, etc. But I am confident I can train myself to be calm, peaceful and, even amidst such horror, happy.
…
All blessings to my parents and elders.
Gratitude for wise teachings handed down to us by wisdom keepers of all traditions.
Thank you to Water. May the rains fall! And the Land jump up and live again…
May all beings be well fed and remember how to, in turn, feed well.
Happy Songkran!!
MAY ALL BEINGS BE HAPPY AND FREE….
The following story of Songkran was shamelessly cut and pasted from Wikipedia (and then edited slightly). Very grateful to the unsung hero’s who offer their knowledge to Wikipedia for free!
May you be blessed…
…
The Origin of Songkran
The origin of songkran festival lies in a Buddhist folk myth or non-canonical jataka related to harvest and spring. In the prosperous city of Sukhavati in Suvvannabhumi, Bodistva was born in the household of a poor farmer. Once upon a time, Indra, the king of Devas, looked at the city from heaven, and felt sad seeing the high level of corruption. He found that people did not respect their elders, behaved rudely, and didn't serve them proper food and medicines. They had no compassion to the needy and helpless, no faith in Sila and Uposath but found merriment in sin. They had no faith in generosity but were instead greedy for wealth. They had no faith in Dhamma but made business of Dhamma. By seeing the decline of Dhamma, he said, "Glory/Siri of humans lies in their faith in Dhamma. There is no glory without Dhamma." With affirmation of this truth, people in the city immediately lost their glory, no proper rains fell, water and food scarcity prevailed, extreme drought with skin-burning hot sun waves and dirty, bad smelling garbage filled their homes.
To get saved from this suffering, In leadership of Bodistva, people prayed to mother earth or Siri. They asked Siri the causes and solutions of their misfortune. Out of compassion and sympathy to her children, she told them the causes and solutions to their sufferings. She told them restoration of their faith in Dhamma would end their suffering. She gave them a divine piece of fertile land, divine seeds, mysterious songs for rain, divine thanaka powder of several colors to apply on their skin to cool body from hot sun waves. Now, people pleged to observe Sila and Upasotha under the guidance of Bodistva.
Bodistva and his companions started cultivating the divine land, sowing divine seeds. They applied several colors of thanaka powder and poured water to cool their body from heavy sun waves. In a few days their crops were grown. That was the day when the sun entered Aries constellation. They produced adequate grains. At the day of harvest, they washed the feet of their elders, saluted them and served delicious food and proper cloths. Donations were made to the needy and helpless. Hence, Dhamma was restored by the people.
on the same day when Indra the king of devas again looked at the city of Suvannabhumi. He praised them and said, "Glory of humans lies in their faith in Dhamma, there is no glory without Dhamma." By affirmation of this truth immediately their lost glory was restored back and the people elected Bodistva as their leader and celebrated the harvest day with throwing water on each other and started playing with several colors of thanaka powder by applying it on each other's body.
Thus, in Buddhist community in South East Asia, to remember and celebrate this day, people clean their houses, salute and show respect to their elders by washing their feet, serving delicious food and proper clothing to them. Donations are made to Buddhist monasteries and to the needy. People play with water and different colors of thanaka powder, applying to each other's body.
According to the Buddhist scripture of Wat Pho, Songkran originated from the death of Kapila Brahma (Thai: กบิลพรหม, romanized: Kabilaphrom, lit. 'reddish Brahma'). In the olden days, there was a wealthy man and his neighbor, a drunkard. The drunkard, who had two sons, belittled the rich man for being childless. The rich man was humiliated and beseeched the Sun and the Moon gods to grant him a son. His attempts failed until he offered cooked rice to the tree god living in a banyan tree, who asked Indra to grant the man's wish. The child, named Thammabal (Thai: ธรรมบาล, also Dhammapala, lit. 'one who protects righteousness'), was born.
Thammabal was a clever child who learned three vedas, bird language and also taught people to avoid sin. Kapila Brahma learned of the child and wanted to test the child's cleverness. The god asked, "Where is the glory of men (sri) located in the morning, during the day, and in the evening?". The loser would have his head chopped off. The boy thought in vain for six days, but could not find a solution to the riddles. He lay beneath a sugar palm tree and overheard a conversation between a pair of eagles who planned to eat his corpse when he lost the bet. The female eagle asked her mate whether he knew the answer. He answered, "In the morning, the sri appears on the face, so people wash their faces every morning. At noon, the sri is at the chest where people spray perfume every noon. In the evening, the sri goes to the feet, so people wash their feet every evening." Thmmabal memorized the answer and gave it to Kapila Brahma the next day. Having lost, Kapila Brahma summoned his seven daughters and told them that he must cut his head off. However, if his head fell to earth, it would create an inferno that would engulf the world. If his head was thrown into the air, the rains would stop. And if his head was dropped into the ocean, all seawater would dry up. To prevent these calamities, he told his daughters to place his head on an elevated phan. Thungsa, his eldest child, stored her father's head in the cave in Mount Kailash.
Every year when the Sun enters Aries, one of Kapila Brahma's children, called the Nang Songkran (Thai: นางสงกรานต์, lit. 'Lady Songkran') for that year, and other angels form a procession. One of them takes the phan with Kapila Brahma's head. The lady stands, sits, reclines or sleeps on the back of the animal depending on the time. From the dawn to midday, the lady will stand on the back of her conveyance. After midday until the sunset, she will sit down. Between the sunset and midnight, the lady lies down on her vehicle but leaves her eyes open. After midnight, she sleeps. These postures and other details were previously drawn as part of the Prakat Songkran and now as part of the lunisolar calendar. The procession lasts for 60 minutes around Mount Meru. This is subsequently called Maha Songkran to distinguish from other Songkran that occur when the Sun moves from one to another zodiac. For simplicity, the name was later shortened as Songkran.
…
#maypeaceprevailonearth
Fantastic writing you deserve a wider readership here, I shared some quotes from your post, I hope some more people drop by.
So young, so young
So much pain for someone so young
I know it's heavy
I know it ain't light
But how you gonna lift it with your arms folded tight?
If I die in the month of May
Let the wind take my body away
I wish I may, I wish I might
Don't leave my body down there with my arms folded tight.
(Arcade Fire, The Suburbs album, track 10)